I’m confused. (Yes, this is where you make fun of me for being a secret blonde and tell me I should be used to that feeling.) You know that endless question, what is art? It’s one of those questions there isn’t an answer to, but everyone has an opinion about.
Well, I have a similar question. What is a sport?
Does it require specialized training, lengthy practice or natural skill? What about physical contact, special equipment and lifelong dedication? What is the difference between a sport and a hobby? I don’t know the answers to these questions, but I am positive there are some sports that do not deserve that title.
Apparently pigeon racing is a sport, and that is why I’m confused.
The competitions go like this: Trainers, that is the humans involved in this event, spend about a year teaching their bird to return to a special pigeon home called a loft. On race day they are taken somewhere between 100 to 600 miles from home and released, hopefully to find their way back. Thousands of birds and their humans are usually involved.
Once the race has started, the mostly sober trainers drive the rest back to the loft where they have more beers and enjoy themselves while their birds do all the work. Following tradition, the athletes (should I say trainers?) have more beers than any athlete ever would on a day when there is the potential to win millions of dollars. Seriously, someone might keel over once the results come in.
Of course the American Racing Pigeon Union, ARPU, (yes it truly does exist) has a code of ethics that must be followed.
“Racers have the responsibility to represent our sport and hobby with the highest standards of conduct. There is to be no profane language, abusive argument or disorderly conduct.”
Try telling that to a thousand drunk pigeon racers.
Speaking of millions of dollars, some pigeons are specially bred for this kind of competition and are worth that much individually. Now, I know that professional athletes are paid millions, but who ever heard of paying millions to be an athlete?
To make matters worse, these exclusive birds occasionally get lost. Yes, that’s what I said, lost. Their owners might as well take fistfulls of hundred-dollar bills and throw them into a hurricane. But, I suppose that’s the chance you have to take to win back the million you spent on your bird to enter the race.
The ARPU also states in its code of ethics: “AU members shall not train their birds in a reckless or a ruthless manner that presents undue hardships on the birds or that may effect a loss of pigeons.”
Seemingly the competition contradicts this rule. I would have thought it was obvious that making birds fly 600 miles without rest would be considered “undue hardship.” Apparently not.
This same association also includes information about what substances are illegal to feed the birds. I wonder how much money there is in the black market for bird steroids? Actually, the right question might be what bird race is important enough to give a bird steroids in the first place?
I’ll leave it at that. Clearly the sport of pigeon racing is more than a little ridiculous, but if you are ever interested in watching a race, just remember to cover your head and stare hard at the ground when that first wave of birds comes flapping excitedly home. You never know what strange substances might fall from the sky.
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