Name please. Jantzen. And first name is? Jantzen. He has heard it throughout his life. The occasional hipster can pull off two or more first names, but the awesomeness that is, two LAST names, well– that is Jantzen Hunsaker.
Raised in pre-apocalyptic America, Jantzen is the very epitome of greatness. His young life was spent studying the complexities of the human mind. His teen years were ignoring the very same complexities and he has now brought back the roaring 20s in a very modern, very personal, and less sequined way.
That is to say Jantzen is in his twenties and is in no way involved in bootlegging, mobs, or edgy jazz (as far as we know.) Born in May 88, he was able to enjoy a very large portion of the 90’s then and continues to enjoy a similarly large portion now. Jantzen is a jack of all trades, and master of at least one and a half. He enjoys soccer and tennis as well as most other leisurely sports. According to him, Zelda will always be the best video game creation ever, no question –He wishes Firefly, Dr. Who and Pokémon were historical documentaries, not fiction. His brain’s more dominant side is in literature and the arts. He loves reading, designing and music. He plays cello, string bass and guitar. His favorite authors are C.S. Lewis, John Greene and Ray Bradbury. To add to this already impressive list, he has two books in the works and won an award from the International Society of Poets . In his response to how he was so wildly successful, Jantzen said.
“To quote the late great Mr. Burgundy, ‘I don’t know how to say this, but I’m kind of a big deal.’”
Indeed you are Mr. Hunsaker, indeed you are.
Given other famous coined phrases, the words of nefarious Jafar ring true, Jantzen is truly a diamond in the rough. He was not lucky enough though to find a pet monkey or genie, but he hasn’t given up hope on either. In more words by famous people, Jantzen has been heralded as a scholar and gentlemen and. When asked by what famous people, he said we’d have to wait and see. I don’t know if he meant someone famous would say this, or has said it, but he looked suspiciously back towards a blue police box in the parking lot.
Straight as an arrow, sharp as a tack and any other positive cliché that could be had, is had by Jantzen. If you don’t know this kid, you should. And if you do, you’re awesome.
