Attention all haters, please form an orderly queue and await the forthcoming devastation that will no doubt overtake you once you hear the news that North Idaho College has changed the game forever and been designated by the Arbor Day Foundation as a 2017 Tree Campus USA. NIC will be the second campus in all of Idaho to receive this distinction, however, we might as well be first because this brand-new accolade really tips the scales in our favor, if you think about it.
“NIC is known for its beautiful campus and trees are a big part of that. NIC landscape staff members have been working diligently this past year to meet the requirements of the program,” said Bill McElver, NIC Physical Plant and Facilities Manager.
Besides the indisputable fact that our campus is already an actual, Eden-like utopia set adjacent to a glittering oasis, the authorities went ahead and gave us an opportunity to continue dunking on all you clowns with this award highlighting our insane tree strategy, solidifying the obvious fact that we have the hottest scenery of any college in the greater Coeur d’Alene area but also most likely worldwide.
To the schools that have failed to meet this incredible honor, I say: try again, sweetie. You can attempt to ramp up your tree game, and it will be adorable, but the fact remains that in private you are sobbing dejected tears at the realization that we met all five standards required to earn this formidable distinction. The standards we blew out of the water include: maintaining a tree advisory committee, a campus tree-care plan, dedicated annual expenditures for our campus tree program, an Arbor Day observance and student service-learning project.
In case you don’t understand this terminology because your paltry tree efforts have drawn no notice whatsoever, this means we don’t sleep on the grind required every day to nurture and honor these life-giving behemoths. I would advise that you get on our level, but you literally can’t even see our level, let alone touch it.
“By meeting the annual standards and being recognized as a Tree Campus USA, it creates a more sustainable campus environment, improves learning and working environments and instills pride in the students, faculty and community,” McElver said.